The Connie: They wouldn’t let me return the tuna!
Daughter: What tuna?
The Connie: I bought a tuna chunk can and it was yucksy pooey. So I took it back and they wouldn’t take it.
Daughter: You brought an opened can of tuna back to the store.
The Connie: Yes dude! That’s how they know it’s no good. It was like a soupy. There was no chunk! And I talk to the guy and he tried to be Rico Suave, but he’s no Rico Suave man. And I told him it says chunk but there is no chunk. Not one tuna chunk! And he said I couldn’t return it cause I open it. But how do I know it’s yucky soupy if I don’t open it!?
Daughter: Are you really this upset over a can of tuna? Where did you buy it.
The Connie: The Spanish market. It’s like kinda bad customer service dude.
Daughter: Well, it isn’t exactly a major conglomerate.
Son-in-Law: I don’t think they have extensive Management or Customer Service training.
The Connie: But it’s like bad customer service. And then all the checkout girls was giving a high five cause I yell at him. I said “I’m not going to talk to a coorkrouch!”
Daughter: Coorkrouch?
The Connie: You know, like cucaracha! *La cucaracha, la cucaracha! Du nuh nuh nuh na na!* Oh, and they didn’t even have a poblano chipotle pepper!
Daughter: Are we still talking about the tuna? Why would there be peppers in the tuna?
The Connie: In the aisle.
Daughter: Cockroaches in the aisle?
The Connie: No! I asked for a chipotle pepper and they had none. But it’s a Spanish store! And they violate OSHA cause they have so much meat. It’s like, no way you can sell that much in a day. It’s like if I go there and see that so much meat I know they don’t sell it. It’s like, duh man!
Daughter: How is that an OSHA violation?
The Connie: You know they are making money off the meat, so why can’t they afford their employees? Whole Foods has good customer service.
Daughter: You can’t really compare Whole Foods and the local Spanish mart.
The Connie: Why not? It’s both food stores! I’m going to find the owner and complain to him. No more Rico Suave manager.