The Connie: There was a building in Sammy’s school that had cadabras! And I thought, ew that’s gross dude! It’s so close to your class and there is cadabras!
Son-in-Law: Cadabras? What’s a cadabra?
The Connie: Cadabras! Like a cadabra for science.
Son-in-Law: Like abra-cadabra? Is it magical?
The Connie: No! Cadabra, like a mummy. Like a body…
Daughter: She means cadavers.
The Connie: Are you sure? I think it’s cadabras…
The Connie: When I was driving up here I saw a big accident on the freeway. And people are so stupid that they stop the cars and get out to look. So then the paratroopers couldn’t get through to help!
Daughter: The paratroopers?
The Connie: Yeah, the paratroopers.
Son-in-Law: Paramedics maybe?
The Connie: No, not the paramedics. The paratroopers, for the Turnpike.
Son-in-Law: State Troopers?
The Connie: Yes, the State Paratroopers.
Daughter: You know that paratroopers jump out of airplanes with parachutes.
The Connie: I’ve never seen that. These ones were just driving.
Son-in-Law: That’s because they were State Troopers, not paratroopers.
The Connie: Whatever dude.
{on the subway one evening}
The Connie: What do you call those people. The ones with the leather bounded things..
Daughter: Please lower your voice.
The Connie: You know though. The leather bounded ones. And they put a ball in their mouth and hit each other. OH! Masso-kits.
Daughter: Please lower your voice mother.
The Connie: Oh! I know, it’s called “S and M” dude! So “M” is for masso-kits. What is the “S” for? It’s for “sex” probably.
{watching a hockey game, the player loses the puck to the opposing team}
The Connie: It’s a turnover, dude! Like turnover a pie.
Daughter: When do you ever turnover a pie?
The Connie: An apple pie.
The Connie: Is Nic dating anybody?
Son-in-Law: She’s dating a Nobel-winning scientist.
The Connie: Dude, it’ll be like engi-NERD!!!