Tagged: FoxNews

The Voting.

The Connie: Obama is a cheater. He did that whole ACORN thing. It was a big deal.

Daughter:Really? What about the 2000 election with the Bush recount?

The Connie: Bush didn’t cheat! I didn’t hear about that one. I only heard about Obama cheating.

Daughter: Really? Seriously? You don’t remember the Florida recount?

The Connie: No, the Bush thing must have not been big. The Obama cheating thing was like major.

Daughter: Are you SERIOUS!? Hanging chads? You don’t remember that?

The Connie: Who was Chad?

The Parental Controls.

[We put parental controls on certain TV stations]

The Connie: Sammy! The cable is broken!

Daughter: Why?

The Connie: It says I need a password to watch FoxNews.

Daughter: Well then I guess you can’t watch it.

The Connie: Dude! How do I get a news then? I don’t watch MSNBC!!

Daughter: There are plenty of other news channels to watch.

The Connie: But dude, that news is not correct.

 

The Army Wives.

The Connie: You know, army wives switch husbands.

Daughter: Please don’t say things like that. It’s offensive to army wives. Some of my friends are army wives.

The Connie: But it’s true Sammy! I saw it on TV. It happens all the time!

Daughter: Are you sure you didn’t see one sensationalized story? About one case where that happened?

The Connie: Dude, it was on the news. It happens all the time!

Daughter:  Are you sure it wasn’t that show on Lifetime called “Army Wives”?

The Connie: Oh, maybe.

The Immigrant.

The Connie: I think they should build a fence to keep out the immigrants.

Daughter: You mean immigrants like you and me?

The Connie: I’m not an immigrant. I just came here.

Daughter: You immigrated here.

The Connie: Not like them! They come and take jobs from Americans and live on welfare. It’s not correct. I just came here because your dad had a job cause he’s the best and then they gave us a green card.

Daughter: So, you immigrated here. And dad took a job from an American.

The Connie: Whatever dude, I just came here. I’m not a lazy immigrant.

Daughter: OK. But let me get this straight.  You’re a Filipino. With a UK passport. Living in the US on a green card. Currently collecting unemployment. Therefore, you’re an immigrant living off American tax dollars.

The Connie: Dude. I’m not an immigrant.

The Democrat.

The Connie: I don’t like Rick Santorum. He is too much a Democrat.

Daughter: What!? Do you even know who he is?

The Connie: He’s the Democrat running against Gingrich and Romney.

Daughter: Seriously? The Democrat?!

The Connie: Yeah, they all say he’s like so super Democrat in the race.

Daughter: Where do you hear these things?

The Connie: The news.