The Connie: Yeah dude, that’s why it was called the Cold War.
Daughter: Wait, why do you think it was the Cold War?
The Connie: Because the US was so powerful and like so “cool” that they made it like cold.
Son-in-Law: No. Not at all.
The Connie: Well, why then? Because Russia is cold?
The Connie: I think they should build a fence to keep out the immigrants.
Daughter: You mean immigrants like you and me?
The Connie: I’m not an immigrant. I just came here.
Daughter: You immigrated here.
The Connie: Not like them! They come and take jobs from Americans and live on welfare. It’s not correct. I just came here because your dad had a job cause he’s the best and then they gave us a green card.
Daughter: So, you immigrated here. And dad took a job from an American.
The Connie: Whatever dude, I just came here. I’m not a lazy immigrant.
Daughter: OK. But let me get this straight. You’re a Filipino. With a UK passport. Living in the US on a green card. Currently collecting unemployment. Therefore, you’re an immigrant living off American tax dollars.
The Connie: Dude. I’m not an immigrant.
The Connie: Gingrich. Newt. What a weird name. I bet he got made fun of as a kid. I wonder what’s his sister name, his mother’s name. I bet it’s all like bugs names. Like a newt.
Son-in-Law: Or amphibians, maybe?
The Connie: Yeah dude, like a *Karma karma karma karma, karma chameleon!*
Daughter: That’s a lizard.
The Connie: I don’t like Rick Santorum. He is too much a Democrat.
Daughter: What!? Do you even know who he is?
The Connie: He’s the Democrat running against Gingrich and Romney.
Daughter: Seriously? The Democrat?!
The Connie: Yeah, they all say he’s like so super Democrat in the race.
Daughter: Where do you hear these things?
The Connie: The news.